Faith vs. Fear

This colossal tussle is at the very root of our lives almost every moment of every day. It can be the biggest challenge we ever face, as it determines every single outcome. When something is hanging in the balance, depending on the sum of our past experiences and how they affected us emotionally, we either sink into doubt and fear or walk in a calm knowing that it will all be OK. Easier said than done for most of us. For those who have a past rife with neglect, hurt and betrayal, it’s almost impossible. But not entirely impossible.

I don’t remember where I heard this, but when I heard it, it hit me like a dump truck:

“Fear is just past pain projected into the future.”

Wow. I wish I could remember who came up with this magic wand. All the books and speakers who encourage us to BE HERE NOW suddenly make a lot more sense. I would paint this on my wall, but I’m in a rental.

Past pain is gone gone gone, but the stains from it do not wash out easily. Memories tend to dig grooves in our brains (literally, I think), but when we change the thought patterns that have carved canyons inside our skulls, new neural pathways open up (literally, I think). I don’t know what happens to the old ones. One would assume that if you no longer travel through them when you are contemplating the future, they fill with silt or rocks and become impassible at last. Conversely, when one or two people explore a cool hidden meadow, they may bend the grass, but if 100 people do it, it becomes a trail.

So, how to make a nice deep, wide trail in the brain with thoughts infused with faith rather than fear? The smug motivational speakers say, “Just decide to!” Gee whiz, why didn’t *I* think of that? But I’m gradually sanding down my cynicism after seeing some spectacular results in areas of life that don’t carry such high emotional voltage. So, if it works for some things, shouldn’t it work for the rest, if we just keep past pain where it belongs and not hurl it forward so that we trip over it when we get out there in the future?

Whenever I experience a period of real joy, it really strikes me that “this feels so much better than pain!” Very obvious, I know, but it feels - weightless, and that takes me aback. Like I took a strong pill to relieve a headache or something, but the pill was just driving in the sun with Pat Metheny blaring, or those rare weeks or months when I have time AND money, or a really good Valencia orange. So where does that all go? Why do we humans cling so easily to pain and fear that joy seems so weird and foreign? By now, everyone’s probably heard about how the limbic brain holds memories of caveman fears. Shouldn’t we be over the whole saber-toothed tiger thing by now? Or have we just replaced it with other forms of doom we cook up because shit happened back then? Outcomes vary, but the worst-case scenario almost never happens unless we pursue it doggedly in our heads.

So where can we dig up some faith? That word means different things to different people, but it really boils down to refusing fear. Not forgetting the valuable lessons learned from past disasters, but just refusing to get in that cab ever again, and consciously choosing to believe that something good can and has happened, too. Think about scenarios that worked out beautifully. What was your state of mind while it was unfolding? Probably not fear. Probably more a belief in goodness, or luck, or the kindness of others, or your own value. So if you could do it for those things, what would happen if you applied that faith to things that have not gone so well in the gone gone gone past? Worth a shot!

Amazing things can happen if given the chance.

© 2019 Laurie MacMillan All rights reserved.